Not a real image of the Damonte Ranch Mustangs— but how I remember the experience…

I’ve coached softball for many years. The memories I built from that were extraordinary. I see every perfect young woman, on every team I ever witnessed, right now as I type.

If I had to identify a single emotional endeavor I have ever done in my life that has given me more to consider, to be thoughtful about— it was for sure coaching. I am better for the struggles, the victories, and the defeats of coaching youth women’s softball. My legacy was to always find victory, even in defeat. — because that came from looking into the eyes of every young person dealing with the struggle of what the scoreboard showed, and what their car ride home must endure.

There is not a single player I ever presumed to coach, that didn’t coach me far greater. Thank you ladies!

🌎The World Before the Word

My time, my mind, and my heart
were requested to be present.

And so, I was. More than will ever be seen.

It starts with enthusiasm,
with recognition of being recognized.
Perhaps my first mistake…

But something starts to slip.

A moment here, a comment there.

Pretty soon you realize that the request was without covenant.

The ones that asked:
…all ears
…eyes
…and heart.

The ones that didn’t, something else.

“stay in your box”.

It hits you, and you forget the gift that was already given.

The young women, the coaches, the umpires, the families that helped form you…

The Old Reflex

The old reflex is to make it known to everyone,
even the ones that didn’t witness.

That you may have been wronged, but you weren’t. Something else was…

More importantly, you were holding on to something that is no longer yours.

You carry it all day and wonder why you were a target— in an already emotional game.

Why didn’t anybody notice?

Then you think it needs to be addressed.

Then you realize the other side has already moved on,
because their day was harder. The girls, the coaches, the families, they were dealing with something deeper.

They are going through their own journey…

While you still held onto yours.

It’s late, a day later, and here I am still— but not for long.

🌿The new Covenant Posture

You were not asked there to be crowned.
You were asked there to give.

And you did.

The photos were taken.
The girls were honored.
Joy was remembered.
A seed from another season bore fruit again.

That gift remains untouched
even by the challenges others carry.

You do not need to expose the tension
to validate the wound.

You do not need to reclaim the room
to recover your peace.

…and instead, you recognize the gifts they, the girls and their families, have already given.

The new coaches carried a burden heavier than you saw—
comparison, expectation, performance, the fear of shadows.

You carried a little sting.

Both are real.
But only one remain yours.

So you release the need
to be understood by everyone present.

You keep the joy.
You bless the burdened.
You leave the battlefield
without taking a trophy or a scar.

Because a living sacrifice
does not let a small wound
steal a larger gift.

🤵 Pastoral Word

Yes, it happened. I carried it for a day. I forgot the reason I was there in the first place, for a moment.

I was asked by some of my favorite young athletes to take pictures for an important day of their season, I accepted. Young women I used to coach.

…who actually coached me…

I reached out to the new leadership, let them know I was asked, and willing. They gave permission and enthusiastic access even if there may have been hidden concerns within their own hearts. None that I knew of or expected.

While waiting to move to another position to take more pictures, I was asked by a coach, “aren’t you supposed to be in your little box?”

I was simply waiting for their meeting to end before I advanced. Trying to be respectful of their space…

Only after did it start to eat at me. One sentence I chose to “highlight” my day. How dumb!

And I let it.

I didn’t lash out; I haven’t sought revenge. Don’t presume this is it— because it is not.

I see the tension, I recognize it. I’ve been there before. Sometimes I feel tension before it is spoken—not always a blessing.

While I wasn’t the enemy, I may have made theirs more visible. A bit of a rough season, good with the bad, but trying to be seen I imagine. To do a “job” that isn’t perfectly defined.

And here I was— seen everywhere with a camera, smiles, and gratitude. The old families, and the new. The only one really being seen.

…while the new leaders were being evaluated, scrutinized and judged by the old, and the new. The same pressure I often had to endure on a softball field during my time.

Bless coaches everywhere— may they be led to be inspiration, rather than simply coaches. May they be led to be above emotion, and our desire for outcomes. May they be seen for who they really are— people that take a stance for our youth, every day.

May the families be recognized for their struggle, their enthusiasm, that they have little control when they hand their son or daughter over to another teacher with trust, perhaps fear, that leads ahead of their decision. Coaches, recognize that— be willing to stand for that concern. You have been given a sacred authority to help their, not your, children be greater than we are!

But most importantly, let the youth we try to reach be increased by our efforts to rise above our own internal struggles. Let them be the ones who hold the absolute victory.

My Daughter and her Buddy Alana

…circa— forever ago, it seems.

🙏 Let's Pray

May you remember
what was good before you remember what was awkward.

May the joy you gave
outweigh the discomfort you felt.

May the insecurity of others
not become the occupation of your mind.

May you be free
from replaying rooms
that have already moved on.

May you bless those
who felt threatened,
for often they are carrying more fear than you.

May your gift remain clean,
your memory remain whole,
and your heart remain light.

You were invited to give.
You gave.

Let that be enough.

Walk on in peace.

…and more importantly, let our youth be at peace!

🔥Carry this With You Today

Keep the gift, release the sting, and forward the gratitude.

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Do Not Stay in your Box